Friday, August 22, 2008

A Day that Will Live on in History

Today is a day that will live on in history. A bittersweet day. Bittersweet in the sense that my lemonade perhaps has one piece of sour pulp, yet the rest is oh so delicious.

Yes viewing audience, today is my last day of work.

Give me a moment while I let it sink in.


YEEAAAHHH!!

I will miss some people here, and some aspects perhaps. There are also plenty of things I will not, indeed, miss. Allow me to elaborate.

Things I will miss:

  • The Money
  • About five or six people here
  • My flexible spending account
  • Unlimited printing access
  • Being the youngest person here as opposed to the elder I will be in my forthcoming environment
  • Watching Stephen Colbert or listening to This American Life every morning while going through my mindless a.m. routine
  • The abundant flow of free food in the break room
  • The blue pens I always “borrow” from the legal department
  • That’s pretty much it

Things I will (definitely) not miss:

  • The deterioration of my eyes that results from staring into the artificial glow of an LCD screen nine hours a day
  • The deterioration of my knees at such a young age, which results from my inability to maintain the one ergonomically correct position all flipping day. Need to shift in your seat at work? TOO BAD. Your choice: Switch positions, and deteriorate. Don’t move, and maintain your walking abilities until at least age 30. Pick one, we’re at war.
  • Writing an insurmountable amount of articles on intriguing topics such as “Settlement Operations,” or “New IVR Systems.”
  • Sitting. All. Day.
  • The neon lights
  • 45-hour work-weeks.
  • The majority of my tasks
  • Boredom/apathy=Ennui
  • Stressing out every afternoon as I deliver my companywide e-mails
  • Laying out newsletters
  • I need to stop now. Why? Because it’s TIME TO GO!

Goodbye Company, my almost lover.

2 comments:

Mark said...

Colleen, I feel like I should say something really profound on this post...or maybe out of respect I should say nothing at all. But since I started already I guess I have to say something. thinking.............

ahem,
I would just like to say it has been a pleasure working with you. Not only have you been one of my most productive coworkers, but the most beautiful as well. You really will be missed. If MG tanks in the next year we will know exactly why. The door will always be open here for you. Thanks for all you've done for our company!

Colleen said...

thanks mark. that compliment goes far coming from someone who probably doesn't even know what mg is:) haha.