The Chicken Dance Seriously Needs Some Apple Bottom Jeans

I went to another wedding this weekend. It was Tammy’s though so it was a rockin’ good time. However, it made me wonder how certain songs were able to obtain the revered status of “a song that has to be played at every flipping wedding.” What, oh song, did you do? Do we have modern day payola on our hands?? Are the B 52’s bribing every single wedding DJ in the U.S. so the memory of “Love Shack” will never fade??

 

If this is the case, I’m personally going to start bribing DJ’s to ditch their corrupt list, which always suspiciously consist of songs such as “The Chicken Dance,” or “The Hokey Pokey.” Why, for any reason other than money, would intelligent DJ’s feel the need to reach back into time 50 years and give these songs another spin. I mean, the least they could do is come up with a Ludacris remix of the Hokey Pokey. Sheesh. Other songs on the eternal wedding list include ‘classics’ like “YMCA,” or “Celebrate Good Times,” “Footloose,” “Billy Jean,” “The Twist,” and “The Electric Slide.” I would like to genuinely thank whoever sings “Cupid Shuffle,” for coming up with a song that could replace The Electric Slide on wedding dance floors everywhere by 2050. Just in time for my wedding.

 

As the keeper and generator of the “community song request list,” at every wedding I go to (I always ask people to add to my list, thus diversifying the request choices and increasing the chance they will play the songs I want…haha.), I am going to make sure that people don’t “Twist,” or “Do the Locomotion,” at my wedding. Instead, when/if that fateful day arrives, shorty gonna put on some apple-bottom jeans and get low. 

Doctor Evil?

Is it just me, or does John McCain remind anyone else of Dr. Evil? (and yes, in physical appearance not nature.)

Newsweek: You Forgot You are Supposed to HIDE Your Biases

Apparently American news media isn't even trying to hide its biases anymore. Was this an editorial or an actual news story. Wow. This is pathetic. For the sake of its reputation, Newsweek could at least attempt to be a bit more discreet with its subjectivity. I'm not even conservative and I'm appalled. See below: (but imagine a cover image of her cradling a hunting rifle)

The Real Sarah Palin

Finish Tango Queens

This was a discussion that took place Wednesday in class between my professor and the Fulbright exchange student from Finland.

Fulbright (during introductions): I’m Teemu, and I’m the Fulbright scholar from Finland.

Professor: Oh I’ve always wanted to go to Finland!

Fulbright: Why?  (class laughs)

Professor: Why? Well since you asked I’m telling you the whole story! When I was seven, Johanna (something I can’t remember the last name) was my best friend in the whole world and she was from Finland. And she would always go back and forth from Finland and bring back all this cool stuff and I really wanted to go to Finland!!

Fulbright: Johanna (again, don’t remember)?? Oh, she’s the Finish Tango Queen.

Professor: What?!?!

Fulbright: Yeah, well it’s not a very common name so I wouldn’t be surprised if it were her.

Professor: My childhood best friend is a Finish Tango Queen?? That’s crazy! I have to look it up! And call my mother!

I could not believe I was hearing this conversation. It was hilarious. My professor blurts out this random name of her long lost friend from Finland, and she happens to be a famous, well, Tango dancer, in Finland. Hahaha. So we looked her up in class, and it was indeed, her childhood playmate. Random random random, and thoroughly entertaining.

Finding the Best Price with a Text!

Google continues to amaze me. Guess what I just discovered? So if you're looking for the best price on a certain product, you can text the word price, followed by the product (e.g. price Frye boots) at 466453 and the magic entity will send you a list of where you can find the best prices! 

Apparently they search zip codes, stocks, weather, movies and a bunch of other stuff for you too, all by text. Who needs an iPhone?? Here's the page with more info

I feel like this sounds like a magazine "best new find!" section. Probably because I was reading the literary wonder of "O" magazine a few minutes ago. It's my mom's, give me a break.

Just in case you were looking for another random fact about Google, I learned this one the other day. Apparently its brand etymology lies in the word "googleplex," which is defined as an infinite number, or the largest number or something like that. 

I start school tomorrow! WEIRD. I feel too old to be starting school. Oh wait, that's because I am....

How Not to a Comfort a Country

I saw this headline on Reuters today:

Cheney to give Georgia more U.S. reassurances

Yeah, I'm sure Georgia feels much better now, after being reassured by a man who accidentally shot his friend in the head. At this point, I think Georgia should take the advice given in The Onion yesterday:

The U.S. Strongly Advises Allies Not to Border Russia.

Sounds like a good idea to me.

And If You Didn't Think America Was Ethnocentric Enough...

Catalyzed by logic beyond my comprehension, it seems that some Americans want Barack Obama branded with the Scarlet Letter. For those of you who's tenth grade teacher didn't make you read The Scarlet Letter, that would be the letter "A."

Though "A" stood for adultery in the Puritan classic, the echoes of Red America haven't yet accused Obama of infidelity. Rather, they've branded him guilty of a more serious "A" sin, that's right, the sin of being the Antichrist. 

Being the antichrist not a good thing, despite what Marilyn Manson may think. I don't take the figure lightheartedly. 

I do, however, take the speculation that Barack Obama is this ominous, apocalyptic figure somewhat lightheartedly. Mainly for the reason that it's, well, ridiculous. Oh, and completely spurious. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not sure there's much in the Bible that actually affirms its basis. Plus there's the part that Barack Obama professes faith in Jesus, instead of claiming to be God, like the antichrist has been prophesied to do.

Anyway, the only reason this rumor upsets me at all, is because I think it shows the utter ethnocentricity of many Americans, dare I say, especially conservative Americans. (Disclaimer: In many ways I am conservative, not in this way). So in case anyone is completely lost as to what I am talking about see the TIME article here: 

So basically people freaked out because Obama has like, some similar characteristics of a fictional character, based upon a Biblical character. Here is the press release, from the authors of this book, actually disputing themselves the notion that Obama is the anti-christ.

Anyway, back to the ethnocentricity point. Notice in the press release the author mentions that he sees no reason to believe the anti-christ will be an American politician. Quote: “I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist,” adds LaHaye, “but from my reading of scripture, he doesn’t meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American.”

But OF COURSE the accusers just automatically assume that an American politician will be the anti-christ. I mean come on, is there anyone else in the world? No. America is the only and MOST important country, like someone as important as the antichrist would come out of some outside, lesser nation. What a notion!

I mean, Vladimir Putnin? Kim Jong II (North Korea)? Whoever China's leader is? Ha! First of all, who are they? Second of all, they are pretty much harmless compared to America's "Obama Dangerous"! Speculated brainwashing with too much talk of "hope," vs. actual brainwashing through censorship...the former is a much bigger deal. Seriously.

Please people, get a grip. The world doesn't REVOLVE around America. I know this may be surprising to some, but America's actually not even mentioned in the Bible (gasp)! I'd be more concerned with Israel, or Egypt of even Ethiopia for that means. All which are mentioned in the Bible. I mean, if you're going to accuse Obama of being the antichrist, you should at least give him a fair shot by judging him against other "contenders," i.e current, popular, powerful world leaders. My goodness. 

And again, I'm definitely not mocking the concept of the antichrist. I hope this is not blasphemous in any way. I would urge everyone never to put too much hope in a politician, but keep their hope in God. I would also urge everyone to not assume all major events revolve around the good 'ol U.S.A. Well there you have it, two valuable lessons to take away today. Man, I will be a great teaching assistant:).