They spend their whole lives eating and playing, don’t save a dime for retirement, and yet they get to spend their later years living lives of leisure in warm climates. No, I’m not talking about Connecticut blue bloods, I’m talking about American Chimpanzees. That’s right, Chimps.
I just finished listening to an episode of This American Life (a lovely Chicago Public Radio production) discussing this phenomenon of chimp retirement homes. I found it relatively crazy. Apparently, there are around 2,600 captive chimps living in America today—kept around for research, entertainment or even companionship purposes. The amount of research chimps in the U.S. skyrocketed with the onset of AIDS. Originally, researchers thought chimps held the keys to understanding the virus. It is now widely known, however, that they definitely do not.
Chimps live quite a long time; the oldest American chimp is around a whopping 75 years old. Yet, their usefulness as performers or scientific guinea pigs only lasts so long. So naturally, they need somewhere to grow old. Enter retirement homes such as Chimp Haven in Shreveport, Louisiana. Chimp Haven is an active living community for retired lab chimps. It can house up to 900 chimps at a time and has a bunch of sweet features. I guess it’s like this $30 million complex. Chimps get to watch T.V., drink banana smoothies and play in the woods for as long as their little hearts are beating.
I’ll bet a lot of human senior citizens would stop playing bridge for a chance to live that good. Chimps live the life – and they only had to work for like, five years. And I thought dogs had it good. Man, was I wrong.
