Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I have a Good Idea

I just came up with a really good idea. Well according to me it's a good idea, and I'm the final judge of good ideas so it is:).

I think for Christmas, I am going to get my family only gifts that like benefit charity. So I know Gap has the Red line, American Eagle has some scarfs that benefit charities, and I'm sure there are others as well. I just have to check them out. Anyway, we should all do that. Save the world! Spread Christmas cheer! Buy Gap!

I mean, you could just give a straight up donation in their name, but then people are usually discreetly mad because they wanted a gift. This way, they get both! I'm so smart! Ok whatever I'm not I just have too much time to think.

Please let me know if anyone finds any other holiday gifts that benefit charity and are cute and awesome at the same time.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanksgiving: Family, Turkeys, and a Little Too Much Information

"Kids these days are so irresponsible, they lack common sense," my uncle complained at our Thanksgiving holiday. "I was permiscuous during my days, but I used contraception. They just need to use contraception."

At this point I'm thinking too much information seriously. Yet, it got worse. My mom piped in. "Steven, sleeping with a whore in another country is not responsible," she said.

WHAT! I turned to my uncle, flabbergasted, "you slept with a hooker!" He's like "I was young and dumb (and ended the phrase inappropriately..). Plus I was in Vietnam, I couldn't find a girlfriend!"

Omigosh. And you thought your family is crazy. Well, does your 60 year-old uncle talk about sleeping with hookers at Thanksgiving?? Mmmmm, hopefully not. My dad's side of the family is a little crazy. I'm not sure how my dad turned out so normal. Maybe because was too young for the Vietnam draft.

That night I was watching Knocked Up (which, is really funny despite its vulgarity) with that same uncle and my mon. In the movie the dumb guys are smoking pot with a gas mask on. I guess it gets you more high or something? I don't know, sounds idiotic. Guess who comments again? Good 'ol uncle Steve. "I used to do that back in vietnam!"

My mom rolled her eyes. My goodness. How did we all end up so tame. Maybe because my mom's side of the family is ridiculously conservative - so my mom helped level out any craziness my dad inherited from his side.

Another funny story from the happy holidays. My aunt smokes cigarettes, and my parents keep one lowly ash tray in the garage for use by guests. So my aunt took the ash tray outside. She's smoking, and as usual, puts her cigarette out in the ash tray. To her surprise, a giant flame explodes from the ash tray - about three feet high. She screams. We run outside. "What the hell was in that ash tray?!" she shouts.

My dad comes over. "Oh you used the ash tray? There was paint thinner it it, I was using it to hold the paint thinner."

"Who puts paint thinner in an ash tray!!!!" My aunt yells, obviously a bit peturbed.

Well obviously, my dad. Ha ha, thank goodness no one was hurt and the most that resulted was a hilarious story. Happy Thanksgiving, from one strange family to the other.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

not for the faint of heart.

In the late 70’s, a 14 year-old girl in labor was whisked into a Saudi Arabian hospital to give birth. Her arms were bound and she was strapped to the bed. She was a prisoner; and as soon as her child was born, she was to be stoned to death for promiscuity. After all, she had broken the Saudi Arabian law of chastity. How? Why, by being gang-raped of course. Her parents had left town for a weekend, and her brother had a party. In the midst of the party the boys took the girl and raped her while her brother sat in a corner; too drunk and high to react. The men denied the accusation – saying she came on to all of them. The girl had a baby girl. She then taken to be stoned, and died.

A lot of countries and situations anger me. There is a lot of injustice in the world, and a lot of it comes from poverty. But how is it acceptable that one of the wealthiest countries in the world ($446 billion GDP in 2007) COMPLETEY disregards women’s’ rights and no one does anything about it. Saudi Arabia angers me. The above situation took place in the 70’s as did a situation in which a 17 year-old girl was acquitted by Saudi courts for her intentional “promiscuity” (which didn’t include sex btw); and was handed over to her father to “punish as he please.” What did he do? He drowned her. In the family swimming pool. While the family watched. Legally. There are so many more horrible, horrible stories.

It’s easy to assume that situations evolve for the better as time progresses, but in 2007 Saudi Arabia still operates by the same backwards laws it did then. In fact, surprisingly, one situation is raising enough of ruckus to actually make the international media: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/11/21/saudi.rape.victim/index.html

I know every country has its share of injustice and corruption. This however, is ridiculous. It’s especially ridiculous that all the world does is look away because confronting Saudi’s money and political posture may threaten the protester’s stability.
I’m really glad that finally the country is getting at least some scrutiny from the media; so perhaps someday there will be a law enforced that won’t allow fathers to drown their daughters at will.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Missing Limbs

Today, I experienced phantom limb syndrome. You know, where one of your limbs is missing, but...you can still feel it. Scary.
What's even scarier - is that my limbs are all attached, at least I thought. Yet, I felt it, the ringing vibration in my back pocket where I usually hold my cell phone. I reached back to answer it. It wasn't there. Yet, it I felt it. But it was a phantom feeling - phantom cell phone syndrome. It seems as if they just might be becoming our second limbs after all.

This isn't the first time it's happened. Sometimes, from the living room, I'll hear the familiar jangle of my ringtone --- only to look at my screen and discover, no one called. Phantom cell phone syndrome. A scary phenemenom. And I cannot be alone in my struggles. But if we have truly developed cell-phones as limbs, what other phantom syndrome will come next? One can only imagine.

*side note

OK. I forgot the add the most important part of the below story. In addition to asking if I was married, the drug kid asked if I was "melado."

Are you serious! Mainly because who uses that word anymore?! It's totally un-politically correct. Plus, he's 21 - not 50! You'd think he wouldn't have even grown up hearing it. Strange.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Cheeriness. And Pot.

Feeling down today? I have just the solution; go to CNN.com! Its top three stories will definitely cheer you up, take a peek.


CNN.com Top Read Stories:

1. Bomber kills kids as US troops hand out toys (!!!)
2. Dozens killed in coal mine blast (!!!)
3. Cyclone death toll could skyrocket. (!!!)

See, don't you feel so much better! I thought you might.

On a lighthearted note, a real one, I went to a concert at the Varsity (aka Best Theater Ever) Friday night. It was pretty sweet minus the bad wine which may or may not be bad because I don't like the taste of actual good wine. There were lots of interesting people there, including one stumbling 21 year-old who accidentally mistook me for a drug dealer.

"Hey," he said to me, "do you happen to have a bowl I could pack?"

I proceed to laugh really hard and obviously say, "No."

"Just thought you might be down, ya know..." he said before wandering off in the crowd.

Well, I don't blame him. I look a lot like a drug dealer - hey people ask me for crack all the time...... (no). The reason I knew his age was because I ran into him later upstairs in the Varsity's pool room or whatever they call it. It has a pool table to me that equals pool room, and the bathrooms are also up there.

So he's like, "Hey, sorry I asked you for that pot..." I'm like "no problem, people ask me all the time." He then asked me if I went to the U. I said no, I I've been done with school for awhile now. He proceeds, "How old are you!"
I'm like "A lot older than you." He then said he was 21 and was like "Are you married?"

Me: "No"

Dude "Well then you can't be that old!"

Hahaha. I didn't know that when you got married you all of a sudden were "really old." I told him I was 24, he said he totally thought I looked his age. Apparently, he was expecting someone three years older than him to look COMPLETELY different.

Hmph. I'm glad I graduated college already. It seems as they years go by, its students' common sense decreases. Peace out.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Happy Vet's Day

As much as I complain about work from time to time, It's days like this when I love my company. It's Veteran's Day, and my company is demonstrating its patriotism by giving all its employees the day off. SCORE. It also does this for Columbus Day, MLK Jr. Day, and President's Day. I am proud of my company's patriotism.

So now I'm at Caribou trying to gather the motivation to start my statement of intent for my grad school app. I got a decent outline yesterday, but now I must begin the real deal. There are quite a lot of people at Caribou for a Monday. They must all work for the government or for financial institutions. Back to my statement of intent; now, many of you may be asking: (or not - but I'll tell you anyway) Colleen, why do you want to go to grad school? How will this help your career? What do you want to do?

Alas, I have no solid answer to this question, only ambiguous dreams. So I will throw those ambigous dreams out there. See, I want to become a specialist kinda, in journalism on a topic and learn how to most effectively spread my message. I would like to minor in human rights while in school for an M.A. in mass comm. So then I would have more of a chance of getting a job with an NGO or with a governmental organization and work for one of those in communication or be a subject expert. Or --- having a master's of any kind would enable me to work for a university, directly with students. So the way I see it -- it would open doors for opportunities in fields that interest me. Who knows, my future's an open book, the world is my oyster.

Back to Caribou, I hate it when people talk really really loud on their phones when they are sitting at the table next to you. I also get uncomfortable when random men compliment my outfit at coffee shops - even if their intent is innocent. And the worst situation you can find yourself in at a coffee shop happened to Molly and I yesterday; we found ourselves right next to a father and daughter having a confrontational conversation, and being right next to them, we felt really awkward. What we gathered from the situation was the daughter (teenage) had a house party and was denying it and calling her dad an asshole and the father was calmly trying to get some info from her and talk to her about why he was upset. I felt bad for the dad. Makes me not want to have teenagers.

OK I'm going to start on my essay now, if I can somehow drain out the loud guy selling something on the phone next to me. Peace. Happy Vet's Day:)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Plummeting.

Dan sent this to a few of us yesterday, and I thought it was so crazy it should be posted in the reputable scientific journal entitled the Confused TwentySomething. In all seriousness -- try and figure out the logic of what this graph is telling us:




In Dan's words, "Crazy what AIDS can do."

I can't believe that in the 21st century, while life expectancies in the US are rapidly increasing, life expectancies in Africa are dramatically doing the exact opposite.

Monday, November 5, 2007

I've Been Thinking Too Much Again - And It is Lengthy...

That’s right – I’ve been thinking too much again – and the result is someone gets to read a messed-up philosophical entry from me! Good times.

So I have something I have to cognitively sort-out, because I feel frustration and passion welling up inside me now, literally about to burst. See, I’ve thought and thought, and have found myself caught smack-dab in the middle of two opposing ideologies, seemingly unable to come to grips with either. My feelings are kind of nebulous right now, making them hard to explain, especially in an organized formula, but hopefully I can get something down on this electronic medium that makes some sort of sense.

I’m not even sure how to start, so I guess I’ll just start with today. I woke up this morning healthy and relatively happy, yet my spirit was completely deflated, weighed down by the monotony that I would encounter for the next nine hours; work. I feel guilty about this – because I am so lucky to have my job, and be provided for, and am appreciative to God for this.

However, I am still weighted at the thought of work. No matter how I desperately try to change my attitude, work often becomes the bane of my existence – a mundane, fluorescent-lighted reality I have to encounter every day. That’s not to say some days are better than others, in task and emotion. Today however, is not one of those better days.

So here’s where my controversy kicks in. What do I do with these feelings of indifference? One ideology says to me “chase your dreams,” while another says “this is life, make do with what you have.”

A lot of me believes unwillingly in the “this is life,” philosophy, for, in my grandmother’s words “work is work.” I feel this creed is somewhat biblical too. I mean there are tons of verses stating “be joyful always,” or further down in Philippians “I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation…. I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength.” Also, the verse that really gets me when I really don’t want to work is “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord and not for men.”

But then you get all these Christian authors who are like “live your dreams! God wants more for you than a dispassionate existence, take chances!” Obviously one book everyone is reading right now is giving me the box for my soapbox – Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus.

I mean, Jesus does say “I have come to give you life to the full,” and then there’s “Delight yourself in the Lord and you shall have the desires of your heart.” But that delight --- will it come through in any situation, or will delighting in the Lord lead you to a situation in which you will have the desires of you heart?

I guess, all of my life, I’ve prided myself on being a realist, scorning idealists for their naivety and woolgathering. But I’m sick of being a realist. I don’t want to be a realist, I want to be an idealist. I want to believe there is more out there for me than this mundane, digitally-lighted experience. Perhaps experiences like this are waiting periods? Is this really what I was designed for? I know God requires everyone to work, and to work hard. Are we supposed to not like our work? Or is there hope that we can work hard at something because we are passionate about it. Instead of have to use every ounce of energy in our veins to try and work hard at something because our apathy and restlessness is pushing us in the opposite direction. Perhaps some people would love this opportunity, and would be satisfied by it, but it’s just me who isn’t.

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Thus is the story of our lives I guess.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Music Review Time!

Last night I went to see Kelly Clarkson in concert. I was pretty excited about seeing KC, but like most people, I wasn't too enthused about the opening act--- until he started playing. Holy crap. My friends and I were awestruck at this guy's talent, passion, and of course ridiculous good looks. Seriously though, he was amazing, and I remember thinking while watching him play that God was amazing because he created someone with such talent. Almost seeing God's creativity and ingenious through this guy's musical ability.

So at the concert I not-so-quietly declared I was going to marry him. What was crazy though, is I got home and looked him up and it turns out he got his start playing at Young Life camp, and he's a Christian. Interesting how you can at times recognize God through people. Anyway, often synomynous with "Christian man over 21" is "married." (PROPS TO Y'ALL OUT THERE WHO ARE CHANGING THAT. CHEERS). So it turns out, there's no future for him and I:) There is however a future for me listening to his music. Oh -- and his name's Jon McLaughlin by the way.

Also on my music review tally today is Britney's new c.d., and Carrie Underwood's as well. I must say, five million stars for Carrie. This is probably one of the best albums I've ever purchased - not kidding. Buy it. As far as Britney's new c.d., five stars for her! Granted, the lyrics are a little to non-sensically sexual, but if you can over look that, probably one of the best dance albums I've ever purchased, her's and Rhianna's new c.d.

All in all, it's been a great music week and I've been very entertained. Thank God because I got a number wrong in work's newsletter and all hellfire broke loose (in my DEFENSE - it was approved before I placed it, and the approver overlooked the number, NOT my fault. huff). It turns out -- the number in the newsletter was for a dating service. hahaha. if I can get past the anger surrounding my boss it's actually pretty funny....