Monday, February 26, 2007

WORK

Oh work. There is so much to write about this topic I’m not sure where to begin. OK – decision made. I’ll start with men at work – their etiquette that is. After working corporate for a few years I am convinced that you can tell so much about a man from his elevator etiquette. You have to let the women, exit and enter the elevator first. Come on! There are way too few men that do this and it’s saddening. At Target, there was a stark contrast between the men that understood elevator etiquette and the ones that didn’t. The ones that did were way more respectable. Too many men at Target would shove their way in first. So at MoneyGram, I am very observant as to what they do. The men at MoneyGram are much more respectful – always holding the door and the elevator. Good job. Of course, this is probably because they are all old. Anyway, onto topic number 2:

Work boredom
Now this is a killer. And my last year was infiltrated with it. Boredom at work makes you a bad worker. It takes away any work ethic you had to begin with. You’d think that, if someone gives you a project after being bored for five hours, you’d jump on it. No – you despise it and want to keep on being bored. That is how bad work boredom can effect you. This year, Anne and I, in particular fell victims to this disease. Luckily we are out of it now, but it was a toughie. So we developed strategies to fight against its deterioration – namely emailing too much, excessive facebook use and of course, excessive diet coke drinking. I came up with a plan that if I drank enough liquids, I would have to go to the bathroom twice an hour and thus ten minutes of the hour would be accounted for. Yes people, that is how bad it was. Thank God I have graduated from work boredom to actually having a job with something to do. Moving on.

Work conversations
Have any of you had an egging desire to learn about the weather and everyone’s opinon of it?? Well you should go to a corporate office. Because that’s all they talk about! That and how tired everyone is. I realize this may be because I don’t know anyone real well yet. At Blue Cross I got to have conversations about God and politics and relationships. I’m a little nervous to bring those things up at the breakroom at MoneyGram though. They’d probably start talking about how tired they are of God making snow or something… I’ve made it my goal this next week to think of an appropriate question that will divert the conversation from the weather. Any ideas, let me know.

Good stuff
OK I will end on a positive note, discussing something I love about corporate life. Free food! Seriously, it’s great. MoneyGram is so not cheap like Target. We probably get left over free food like twice a week. And when I say leftover, I mean extras from fancy schmancy meetings that the CEO goes to. Plus, we get free tea, cider and coffee at work. It’s great. It feeds my caffeine addiction and the non-alcoholic drinking problem I acquired from too many boring jobs. So I’m pretty happy with this. I’m actually pretty thankful for my job. Who wouldn’t want free food.

The end for now.

Friday, February 23, 2007

African dreams...shattered...

UH! I got waitlisted for the Congo trip today. I almost cried, and I never cry. That sucks. I am really disappointed.

Who knows - maybe I'm not supposed to go. Maybe it was another one of those head fakes. The only people that will benefit from my disappointment are Anne (there's your shout out Anne), because this may mean one more trip to the West Coast for her, and Tessa, who just may be lucky enough to get a visit from me in the Alaskan wilderness now.

I know Molly is especially disappointed by my rejection because she was pumped about throwing an all-out benefit gathering for me. It's OK Molly, we'll find you another cause, don't lose hope yet...

I can't believe it. I mean, two years ago I told Katie that she was crazy for going somewhere tribal and disease-ridden. Oh wait, maybe I said that AFTER she decided to show me every possible disease she could get in Africa, from her biology or whatever textbook. Then I finally decide to risk and .... no.

Everything happens for a reason I know. I'm looking on the brightside. No worries.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Bringing pop music shame...worst pop songs.

Now everybody knows that ever since I first heard Mariah Carey back in 1990, I've been mildly obsessed with pop music. This obsession did reach it's peak in high school with the arrival of NSync. Now, I would just label myself "well-informed."

Friends have always told me that my endless library of pop music knowledge was really a waste of space. But, alas, I have found another use for it, besides choreographing Britney Spears songs: To name the top ten worst pop songs ever, 1997-2007. Although I do have quite the bottomless glass of info when it comes to this area, I will admit, I don't know it all. So I welcome suggestions, but here is a start...
1) E-mail my Heart (Britney Spears, 1999) - seriously Britney, e-mail my heart and say our love will never die??? I would at least want a letter...
2) Every Other Time (LFO, 2001) - I think the lyrics "sometimes we swim around, like two dolphins in the oceans of our hearts," explain this selection.
3) Laffy Taffy (D4L, 2005) - Omigosh I hate this song. This wins the pointlessly dirty song award too.
4) Why I'm Hot (Mims, 2007) - "I'm hot 'cause I'm fly, you ain't 'cause you not!" Wow. Brilliant. I'm going to go around saying that to everyone I disagree with. Genius like that will put people in their place!
5) I'm in Love with a Stripper (T-Pain, 2005) - I'm losing inspiration to describe these lame songs.
6) Uno Noche (98 Degrees, 2000?) - Please, none of you are latin, you are all hopelessly American so don't try singing in Spanish to a latin beat.
7) Stars are Blind (Paris Hilton, 2006) - I think the iTunes review describes this best: "What the hell is this." (excuse the profanity...)
8) To the Beat of My Heart (Hilary Duff, 2006) - Seriously, Hilary, I was a fan of "Why not," but this is like the same two notes over and over, plus the same words over, and over for like four minutes. People are going to go deaf!
9) Grillz (Nelly, 2005) - Grillz are not cool. They look like braces. Don't try to make Grillz cool
10) About us (Brooke Hogan and Paul Wall, 2006) "I'm just tryin' to chill but you're all up in my grill." Brook, hon, you don't have grillz, you're from upper class suburbia. Seriously. Also, nobody is talking about you. Most people don't know who you are. I cannot stand when singers sing songs about how everyone is talking about them.

OK. This is my first-draft compilation. I'm sure I missed a few goodies, I probably have blocked them out of my memory. As noted, I do take suggestions.

OK, I'm really excited to read this book Molly bought. It's on sex, and God, and usually I refuse to read those books because they are super lame, but Rob Bell wrote it and he is sweet. These kinds of things make my nights. Lata.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

How our broomball team revolutionized the world

Tonight is broomball night. It's a very special night when our team comes together and literally changes the world...in a variety of ways. Perhaps that's how it got its name: The Great Revolution. I think El Capitan Girth (a.k.a. Cole Brenny) understood the impact the team would have and thus it's name was born. Good naming scheme Cole.

So anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to note a few ways in which "The Great Revolution" has lived up to its namesake and changed the world:

1. In honor of Dan "like the brother I never wanted, or Cole said I could be assistant captain" Edelstein - I must note that TGR has changed the way guys relate to each other. You see, usually, it's the girls who create the drama (except for me of course.... 'other' girls) but TGR has actually flipped the gender characteristics. Last year the team's wits were strung thin when El Capitan and Dan got into a huge fight about absolutely nothing. This caused touchy drama that had nothing to do with girls, way to go C and D.

2. OK two. This one is extremely important. TGR has revolutionized physical laws. Actually Molly, "I laugh a lot" Slovnik helped change this one. Molly actually was able to score a goal using laughter as her only force. Amazing. Usually the ball needs to be touched in some way to go into the goal, but I guess it was so take aback by Molly's incessant laughter that it moved itself. Molly, it's kind of like how your singing has enabled me to know my name better. You aid in miracles. In summary, TGR revolutionized the law of physics.

3. In 2006 TGR revolutionized the world of sports journalism. It created an award-winning documentary using only a digital camera and a microphone made out of a spoon and tinfoil. The reporter behind the camera was so good that she is being considered for an oscar this year. If Molly would ever complete the highlight video that documentary just might win.

4. One more way that TGR has revolutionized the world is by its fashion sense. The 'NMC Communications' sweatshirt worn by one member has gotten the attention of designers such as Valentino. Also, I have never seen helmets worn so well. Esp. on Cristina.

Of course we must not forget the number one reason why TGR drives change. That is because it is simply the best. After all, we were 2006 broomball champions. That's pretty hard to beat.

This blog was written after the incessant pleadings of my broomball team members. My apologies to anyone reading this who is not on the team, because it will not make any sense whatsoever. Come see us play and maybe it will.

Ok got to go to church and then watch the grammies. Lata.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Twenty. Something?

The Roaring Twenties. I realize that’s a nickname given to a decade, but I think it would be somewhat appropriate for the age too.

Roaring, like a storm, so dense you can’t see two feet in front of your face, confusing your path and turning familiar forms into indistinguishable figures. And so loud that the voices once clear are suddenly inaudible. That kind of storm.

Definitely not roaring like a lion, I don’t feel very predatory.

I say this because, because at the ripe young age of 23, I cannot see two years down the road. This is an improvement; however, for a few months ago my nearsightedness only allowed me six months of viewing pleasure, God willing.

All this uncertainty can make a girl go pretty crazy. Upon graduation, I was confused about what I wanted to do, vocationally, and had no idea where to start. The excitement of being a young professional quickly faded in light of the copy machine – and through five jobs and two periods of unemployment.

I was also completely baffled on the matter of relationships. I quickly learned I had no idea what love was, and what I thought it was before, yep, completely made up in my head. I blame Reese Witherspoon and Sweet Home Alabama for that one.

There I was not sure of what I wanted from a career, and not sure what I would ever want or receive from a relationship.

So how do you move forward then, when you are blinded by bewilderment? I guess you just have to look up to heaven, put one foot in front of the other and hope it catches solid ground.

Most likely, your feet will land safely, well eventually, you might break an ankle or two a long the way, but it will be worth it.

Because, as blinding and deafening a storm can be, it is strangely beautiful. Storms have an entrancing energy and power to them, and their haunting colors are intensively enchanting.

Kinda like the twenties.

Let’s face it, even though life is so confusing and sometimes overwhelming at this age, it is pretty fun. We’re young, healthy and have our whole lives ahead of us. We have the energy to beat ourselves up in a late night broomball game, and still go to work in the morning. We can travel anywhere without having to worry about who will take the baby, plus we still have the youthful good looks to pull off whatever, colorful, style we wish. Holla.

A sign on my wall states “When nothing is certain, everything is possible.” I think that’s a pretty good way to look at life in the twenties. Anything’s possible. So maybe instead of trying tirelessly to get God to show me my destination, I’ll focus on having a good time exploring the possibilities he presents along the way.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Pure Genius

There are few people I regard as Geniuses in this world. Obviously, Jesus was a genius. I mean that thing about the coin and giving to Caesar what was Caesar’s and God what is God’s, brilliant with a capital ‘B.’ No one compares to his genius, so as I list the others, know I recognize they don’t come close.

One person I would have say I regard as a genius is Justin Timberlake. And no, I’m not kidding. Have you heard ‘Sexy Back?’ I mean, yea, the songs’ a little dirty, but the phrase “I’m bringing sexy back.” Pure pop culture genius. Everyone says that now, how could they not, it’s great. Justin Timberlake evolved himself from a little teen joke, to a respected, extremely talented pop superstar. Beat box it out Justin, beat box it out. Obviously I’d never look to him for advice about morals, love or philosophy. But I will turn on “My Love,” and dance all over my room. Holla.

Other people I acknowledge as geniuses are the people who first learned how to make coffee, the inventor of contacts and advil. Good job.

On a relatively serious note, I think MLK would rank up in my genius category. Actually, he would fit more into my heroes’ category.

If there is anyone out there who is still looking to be named a ‘genius’ by me, here’s some advice: Invent the perfect leave in and rinse out conditioner for my hair. You will go down in history I promise. Alright, One, Two Step…..in’ on outta here…

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

My Adventures in a Christian book store...

I have wanted to read The Abolition of Man, by C.S. Lewis for awhile now. So decided to head to Northwestern bookstore to purchase it and enlighten my mind.

I walked in the store one busy Saturday afternoon, and as I walked around one aisle, I was suddenly overtaken by a sea of pink and floral. A small gagging sensation rose in my throat as I realized what aisle I had stumbled upon: The Christian Women’s section.

Seriously, what are most Christian women authors thinking? One title in particular caught my eye, A Purse Drive Life. Of course, the purse is drawn in pink. I’ll stick with Purpose Drive Life, thank you; it’s a gender-neutral plum color. Do these authors think that an overwhelming amount of emotions, floral and scripted font will enable me to better relate to them?

If you want to relate to me, buy me a mojito. I’m sure these authors can relate to some women, but unfortunately, I think most of them are dead.

Overwhelmed by the nausea, I ran to take cover in the Bibles. That’s always a safe spot. At least God just tells it how it is.

Feeling recovered I bravely stepped out again to find the Lewis book. Before I had taken too many steps further, however, I found myself in the valley of the shadow of death, otherwise known as The Christian Dating section.

Really, I’m not sure what’s worse, Christian dating or Christian women’s books. I’ll admit there are a few princes tucked amongst the frogs, like Passion and Purity for instance, but most of them make me wonder if all humans share the same planet.

With a ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ mentality, I picked up a book in that section that caught my eye: Gift Wrapped by God. Wow, I didn’t realize God wrapped all the gifts he gave us. My presents, such as health, food and friends, have usually come to me pretty clearly. What kind of gift would lead God to wrap it?

Intrigued, I read the summary, and quickly realized I shouldn’t have. Let me give you a little taste of what my mind had to process. Here is the context, there’s a girl, and guy, they just got married, and it’s their wedding night (da da dun…..):

Girl: What a beautiful night, and so many beautiful presents!
Guy: I agree, we have been blessed
Girl: I have one more gift for you, though
Guy: What is it?
Girl: It’s me, come and unwrap me…

I just threw up in my mouth a bit. Are they talking about sex? If so, I’ve just been persuaded to abstain from premarital and marital sex. Forever. Maybe I will just stick to the “side hugs” Josh Harris recommends for “courtship.”

Ohhh...yes yes yes, I know these people mean well. But when it comes to advice on dating and how to be a woman. I'd rather go to the book of Ruth.

Part two of my 'adventures in a Christian book store' will contine with my analysis of the Left Behind computer game. Where you can defeat digital demons through the power of prayer and worship...