Not One of Life's Little Joys

Writing a fellowship applications and/or statement of intent is not one of life’s little joys. In fact, it is quite possibly one of life’s little terrors. I simply detest, yes I said detest, writing these things. It is hard. It requires the ability to articulate clearly my goals – professionally and academically. I do not have this ability. So far, I can only see like…five days into the future. So the rest, I have to make up based upon vague understandings of my dreams.

This takes a lot of mental energy, articulating vague, made-up intents. That is why I have been putting this off for weeks. I wrote some half-hearted paragraphs this weekend. As I look at it now however, half-hearted doesn’t look to good on paper. So I have been sitting here for like four hours now, trying to write and organize this thing and it’s far from done. Bleh.

Good thing my roommates came home and equipped me with brownies and white wine left over from the dinner they went to – yes, the one I missed because of this application. The brownies, white wine, my trusty Mac and Paramore are keeping me company and giving me the necessary stamina to persevere in this situation.

Looking on the bright, blue, sunny side however, perhaps I will finish this within the next few hours, turn it in and wow the application committee. If that happens, then all this pain would have been ultimately worthwhile. This dream has no chance transforming into reality while I am writing this nonsense though.

So on that note, back to work.