A long, long time ago, in a very strange land – my freshman year in Pioneer Hall – I had a somewhat innocent habit. Each night, I would eat a bag of microwave popcorn, but don’t worry, only the Smart Pop, 94% fat-free kind. My roommates got used to my popcorn impulse-control problem, and came to expect the smell of buttery goodness filling the room each night. For me, popcorn eliminated the boredom of studying college algebra, horticulture or some other boring subject.
I used to joke about my excessive popcorn eating, saying that I was probably going to get popcorn cancer. My friends would laugh at the thought that microwave popcorn could actually cause some sort of disease. Well, laugh no longer, for it seems that my popcorn prophecies were somewhat true. Perusing through the New York Times online Sunday, I discovered a headline that incarnated my fears:
Doctor Links a Man’s Illness to a Microwave Popcorn Habit
What?! Seriously, I was just joking when I said I would get cancer or some disease from eating so much popcorn! Please don’t let it be a reality!
Okay, okay maybe I am being slightly dramatic considering the guy who acquired this sickness would inhale the steam arising from the bag twice a day. I didn’t go that far. I just ate the bag once a day. Also, the man is still alive – this is a good sign. However, I find it somewhat comical that an careless joke of mine became somewhat of a reality. No more jokes for me, and in the meantime I will have to monitor my lungs closely, for until they are in danger of actually collapsing, I’m not giving up my popcorn.
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