Boast: I went to the dentist yesterday, for the first time in two and a half years. I was a little nervous, but now I would like to announce that it’s been 24 years and I am still cavity-free my friends! A lifetime achievement! Woohoo! I would like to thank city-water (which includes fluoride), sealant, and my parents’ dental insurance for enabling this accomplishment.
I remember when I was really young, this ‘public service announcement (PSA),’ always ran on TV. The PSA featured a girl who proclaimed, “I’m sixteen and have never had a cavity in my entire life.”
From the first time I saw it; I longed for such an achievement to be my own, and hoped to match this girl’s feat. Well my friends, sixteen has come and gone and I am still cavity free! Not only did I match this girl’s feat, I surpassed it by eight years! Where’s my commercial? I can only imagine how young girls everywhere would be inspired…
My dentist was hot too. First time I saw him. Married though, that’s always the case…jeez.
Time for embarrassments: So the U.S. Department of Citizenship and Immigration Services just came out with a citizenship test that’s supposed to be more effective than the previous one. I would have to agree, it does looks more effective.
After looking through the ten questions featured in the New York Times, however, I unfortunately have to admit that I’m kind of a crappy American citizen.
Ok people, how many amendments are there in the American Constitution? What? Did you say 14? That’s why I said, that’s what my co-worker said too. Welp, we were both wrong. Where did we all come up with 14?? Apparently there’s 27 – had no idea.
How bout this one – how many representatives make up the House? The answer is 435. Duh (again, had no idea).
Despite my ignorance on a few vital aspects of American life, I did get about half right, including the question that asked “Why does the flag have 13 stripes?” Because of the first 13 unions!!! Sitting at my desk, I almost yelled this aloud, pathetically excited about my knowledge.
Five out of five; not bad, but not good. I apologize, Uncle Sam, for not being a model citizen. I promise to sing the Star Spangled Banner ten times tonight to make up for it – and visit the U.S. Virgin Islands to show my appreciation of U.S. territories. Until then, I resort to Wikipedia.
4 comments:
I agree, the citizenship tests are about as dumb as can be. As long as they know that the left lane is the fast lane, you have to buy a permit before you go hunting, you can not sell your daughters, etc.
Why do they always just have all these irrelevant 7th grade civics questions. Whose head is on the dime? Who cares, it's worth ten cents, ten of those equals a dollar and with that you can probably buy something...depending on where you are. I'm pissed.
I'm super impressed. I lived with two dental students for the past 3 years so I'm in with a few "hot" single dentists. Let me know if you want the hook ups :). They'd be especially impressed with the 24 years w/o cavity.
Also, don't be too harsh on the people who like to pretend to shoot aliens. I make a living off them which makes them cool in my book.
Is it pathetic and a waste of time? I'm the first one to say so, and I do, constantly to my friends who seem to enjoy making sure humans are the only ones existing in virtual reality.
But the work we do to make the processors for the gaming machines pushes scientific computing technology used for good things like cancer research. Which means soon, because of them, cancer may be cured and all those people can shoot aliens for that much longer :)!
Obviously a much more important event than say... the craze around the release of a JT album.
Maybe you thought there were only 14 amendemnts because HHS's texbooks are from 1886?
Dave,
Not only should you initiate a "hook up" with your hot dentist friends and the single girls you know, it's irrisponsible not to do so. I'm always offended when I discover that my guy friends have hot single guy friends that they're keeping to themselves. So not fair! :)
PS. Marroon 5 tonight Beanie!!!
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