My Adventures in a Christian book store...

I have wanted to read The Abolition of Man, by C.S. Lewis for awhile now. So decided to head to Northwestern bookstore to purchase it and enlighten my mind.

I walked in the store one busy Saturday afternoon, and as I walked around one aisle, I was suddenly overtaken by a sea of pink and floral. A small gagging sensation rose in my throat as I realized what aisle I had stumbled upon: The Christian Women’s section.

Seriously, what are most Christian women authors thinking? One title in particular caught my eye, A Purse Drive Life. Of course, the purse is drawn in pink. I’ll stick with Purpose Drive Life, thank you; it’s a gender-neutral plum color. Do these authors think that an overwhelming amount of emotions, floral and scripted font will enable me to better relate to them?

If you want to relate to me, buy me a mojito. I’m sure these authors can relate to some women, but unfortunately, I think most of them are dead.

Overwhelmed by the nausea, I ran to take cover in the Bibles. That’s always a safe spot. At least God just tells it how it is.

Feeling recovered I bravely stepped out again to find the Lewis book. Before I had taken too many steps further, however, I found myself in the valley of the shadow of death, otherwise known as The Christian Dating section.

Really, I’m not sure what’s worse, Christian dating or Christian women’s books. I’ll admit there are a few princes tucked amongst the frogs, like Passion and Purity for instance, but most of them make me wonder if all humans share the same planet.

With a ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ mentality, I picked up a book in that section that caught my eye: Gift Wrapped by God. Wow, I didn’t realize God wrapped all the gifts he gave us. My presents, such as health, food and friends, have usually come to me pretty clearly. What kind of gift would lead God to wrap it?

Intrigued, I read the summary, and quickly realized I shouldn’t have. Let me give you a little taste of what my mind had to process. Here is the context, there’s a girl, and guy, they just got married, and it’s their wedding night (da da dun…..):

Girl: What a beautiful night, and so many beautiful presents!
Guy: I agree, we have been blessed
Girl: I have one more gift for you, though
Guy: What is it?
Girl: It’s me, come and unwrap me…

I just threw up in my mouth a bit. Are they talking about sex? If so, I’ve just been persuaded to abstain from premarital and marital sex. Forever. Maybe I will just stick to the “side hugs” Josh Harris recommends for “courtship.”

Ohhh...yes yes yes, I know these people mean well. But when it comes to advice on dating and how to be a woman. I'd rather go to the book of Ruth.

Part two of my 'adventures in a Christian book store' will contine with my analysis of the Left Behind computer game. Where you can defeat digital demons through the power of prayer and worship...