Falling into it: The truth about LOVE

OH love. There are so many cliché lines that could follow this subject I don’t even know where to begin. So let me begin with my experience:

[long pause]

Ok yeah that won’t work too well. I’ll be honest, some of my relational experiences couldn’t exactly be described by “Cinderella,” even though I do possess princess appeal (jk, jk…).
In fact for awhile there (and “awhile” may or may not describe the present) I wasn’t even sure romantic love in its truest form really even existed. Sure, I’ve been “in love,” with some of my semi-long term relationships, but with most of them, HELLO, what was I thinking! What I thought was love was in reality blinded infatuation, and not just legally blinded, like Helen Keller blinded.

Anyway, moving on; there are currently a few couples in my life whose relationships fan the flame of my hope in love rather than insensitively snuff it out. These couples have actually inspired me to believe in the reality of “falling in love.” My prime inspiration comes from Cole and Jess, who will share the same name coming up in July. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to interview these two lovebirds and find out if love was real and the secret falling into it. Intrigued? Read on:

The Interview
Me: Cole and Jess, thanks for joining me. Could you please tell me what “love” is?
C&J: Well, we believe that love is something that is given by God, and is God himself. Human beings are completely incapable of loving in the truest form outside of God. All who live in God live in love. We are confident that we are able to love each other the way we do only because God enables us to do so when we live in Him.

Me: Some people say that love isn’t real, and you just have to “commit,” What would you say, is romantic love real??
C&J: Yes, of course. But love in one way or another should always be related to marriage, or the path to such a relationship. Romantic love is not only God created but God given. Because God is the creator of love, we should learn about this type of love from Him alone, and from no other source. We believe that a romantic relationship was meant to be a reflection of Jesus' relationship with the church. This is the purpose of marriage and romantic love.

Me: So how or why does one “fall in love”
C&J: Well, are you referring to the beginning stages of love and a relationship rather than maintaining a relationship of love?

Me: Yes yes
C&J: OK, then falling in love is just that: it is not planned per say, but just happens. It unfolds on it's own but must be nurtured with time, trust, and honesty. Society plays to our emotions by selling the idea that love is a feeling of infatuation. That is not to say that this stage is not important, but is a stepping stone to achieve mature/true love in a relationship. It is easy to fall in love but it is important to examine the relationship and be honest about where it is going, and if it is actually meant to be a lasting romantic relationship. Not everyone who falls in love progresses on to a mature love that manifests itself in marriage.

Me: So let’s face it then, you guys are pretty much ‘in love,’ so what’s your secret, is there a secret to love?
C&J: I guess we are convinced that only romantic relationships based first on God have the ability to obtain and maintain true and lasting love. Relationships are not easy, and all of us are broken. Love requires patience, sacrifice, and battling through the suffering that can and will occur along the way. If romantic relationships are a reflection of Jesus' love for us than there is no failure. The result is a deep love that is continually growing and maturing, and will stand the test of time.

Me: OK, well what about this thing they call “chemistry?” As I mentioned before, a lot of times people think that you should be able to fall in love with anyone, because love is a commitment and partnership and not necessarily a feeling. Do you agree? What do you think of “chemistry.”
C&J: We totally believe in chemistry! This goes back to the idea that it is easy to become infatuated or excited about the possibility of a relationship, but not all relationships progress to the further stages of mature love. Chemistry is essential, but must be supplemented with the intention and common trust in God as the center of that relationship. Do not assume that chemistry can somehow compensate for the lack of spiritual/emotional/intellectual compatibilites. However, on the flip side, a relationship without chemistry is also incomplete.

Me: OK now I have reached my final question of the hour. So what does it mean to love someone, romantically? What does this require/consist of??
C&J: In order to love someone we need to look at Jesus' example of His love for us. Jesus relationship with us is one of sacrifice, forgiveness and service. Therefore, our love needs to demonstrate these qualities.

To love someone romantically works perfectly only when each person is focused on their role in serving the other. Romantic love shouldn't be concerned with what someone is getting, but rather with what you are giving. This is not to say that needs and expectations shouldn't be communicated, but romantic love does not try to change the other person in order to get what they need. Romantic love from God allows you to bridge the gap between each persons inadequacies. Although our love comes from God each person continually falls short of this perfect love because of our human brokeness. God gives you the ability to forgive and accept the other person's faults.

Ahhh...well I'm inspired, and I hope the rest of you are too:) Love is real. So moral of the story - don't stay in a relationship that's so-so. Why settle for good when God can do great? Like w/ Cole and Jess. Alright I'm signing out for the day. Any questions for Cole and Jess can be filtered through Moi.