So the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy ranks up there on my best movies of all time list. This past Friday the third and final Pirates came out and I eagerly trekked around town trying to find a theater that wasn't sold out. Block E turned out to be our destination and I was very excited as the opening scenes began to roll. The movie was three hours long, and while I was thoroughly entertained throughout, I was quite disappointed with the ending.
OK I was REALLY disappointed with the ending. I mean I don't want to blow it for everyone but I've been waiting for this ending for like four years; my ideal ending anyway, which I was sure would the real ending. But NO it didn't happen. Way to ruin my dreams Disney, I thought you were supposed to make dreams come true or something if you wished upon a star. And I did and you didn't follow through - you sure failed at that.
Anyway, so I've decided to ignore Disney's "head fake ending," and make up my own ending to this brilliant trilogy. This is the ending I will play over and over in mind to satisfy my need for the story-tale conclusion I was so heartlessly denied.
The following is my version of what the last few scenes should have been. I'm pretty sure you will like it better too, so read on:
....Will gets stabbed by the evil Davy Jones and Elizabeth is pleading for his survival as Jones drags her as his prisoner. Will lies close to death holding his chest wound with one hand and reaching desperately for Elizabeth with the other. He is close to death and is just about to be stabbed again by one of Jone's grotesque sailor/sea creatures when Jack Sparrow makes an unusually sacrificial move to pull Will away from danger. The knife's blade shows no mercy however, and pierces Sparrow in the heart as he is saving Will. Jone's beating heart is right next to Will and out of anger frusteration he slices is to a standstill. Jones, who is dragging Elizabeth, finally disolves into lifeless matter with a frightening screech. Elizabeth runs over to Will who is standing over the dying Sparrow. Will's father, Bootstrap, sees all that has taken place. Now that Jones is dead the ship of the dead needs a faithful captain to bring them back to the good soul trolliers they once were. Elizabeth embraces Will and they kiss - for a long time. Jack slips into death and Boostrap and crew crown him the new captain in honor of his sacrifice. The scene switches to Sparrow, alive in the land of the pirate dead or "davy jone's locker," leading the Dutchman on its new, redeemed path. Will and Elizabeth, who are newly married, become co-captains of the Black Pearl and King and Queen of the Pirate bretheran. They honeymoon on an exotic island and live a passionate, beautiful happy life together forever.
The end. Seriously - Disney, take my advice and next time, hire me to write your movies.
4 comments:
Colleen, I even comment on your blogs when I don't even read them...well I read the first half anyway...about two sentences into your ending. Here is how it should have ended.
Johnny Depp uses a magic potion to bring to life the dead guy that keeps tormenting him, then he kills him for real. Him and Kiera knightly celebrate. They do Irish jigs while freestyling relevant Haikus. Then the Korean navy attacks in turtleboats: "to be continued."
Beany,
Your ending is good, but I think you need to continue it with:
During this final, epic scene, Orlando Bloom strolls into the theater and sits right beside Colleen. Glancing at the screen, he sais "Eh - I've already seen this. Want to go across the street and get a drink?"
They date, get married and have three daughters, who all grow up to become prom queens in high school. Orlando and Colleen travel to Africa together to do relief aid when he's not shooting movies. Colleen goes with him to both the Oscars and the Grammy's. The End."
Haha - I agree. This ending seems WAY more ideal. Seriously, he was so good looking in that movie that sometimes it even hurt my eyes...my goodness
what are you telling me here, this is not how the movie ends, that's so upsetting, i don't want to see it anymore, thank you for saving me $9! :)
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